Here's to Hoping My "Back to School" isn't as Bad as Everyone Says it will Be.

Opening iTunes for me is like opening a photo album--Each photo (in this case, song) has a meaning or story to it. Today, as I sit back in the same uncomfortable chair, I type the words "Simple Plan" in the search engine and click on the song at the top of the list.

Back when the F4 hype was dying down and Korean novelas were the biggest thing that hit the Philippines, I was starting my "Welcome To My Life" phase.

Growing up, I remember listening to all the classic rock songs like "Sweet Child 'o Mine" and "Smells Like Teen Spirit". I thought every song was like that... until I discovered N'Sync and Backstreet boys, That started the Boy Band-Britney phase. It lasted until the F4 phase and that lasted until my Emo phase.

Taking a look at all the sides of growing up, I guess I can say I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't gone through all of that; no matter how embarassing my passed could be.

Back when I thought the world was against me (And I hadn't even hit 13!) Simple Plan sang the anthems of my life. They sang about the common pains of a teenager and I felt it was as if they were singing about me to me.

That lasted until I was channel surfing one day and landed on a My Chemical Romance video. That was a whole other ball game. The phrase "You are what you listen to" sort of metamorphisized into my life. Simple Plan made the inner punk Gaby errupt and My Chemical Romance just brought out... everything else.

After 2 years of being in love with Simple Plan's music and everything that came along with it, it took me a mere 5 minutes to forget it all. Everyone said My Chem was an "Emo" band, but the way they made me feel was the complete opposite of that. Simple Plan sang the anthems of my growing up, but My Chem sang the anthems of Life. No matter how many metaphors they used, it always brought me back to how much they amazed me. I was used to all these words put together and music dragged along for the ride that when I heard actual lyrics and music blending together, I was stunned at how well they worked. After discovering My Chem I was now full-pledged Gaby. I had figured out who I was in the span of a few hard years of growing up and a few months of music that kicked some sense into me.

Now that I'm heading towards a whole new chapter in my life, I'll make sure to pick up some songs to bring along for the ride.

-G

Reality Check.

Back to school on Thursday. This Leaves me to return to the list I made back in March of things to do during the summer. Sadly, Checking back, I didn't do anything. No extreme sports. No "Accomplish something out of the ordinary". Nothing.

It pains me to think that 78 24-hour days passed me and I hadn't accomplished anything productive. Sure, I did some pretty cool things but the time comes when you think back and go, "What did I get out of those 78 days?".

I'm pretty glad our school doesn't make us write those "What I Did During My Summer Vacation" papers because I'd have nothing to fill it with.

So that leaves me with the conclusion: The 'To Do' lists I make are NEVER done.

So I'm trashing lists, living off time itself and hoping something good comes out of that. I'll be living without knowing that if I don't accomplish a specific thing, I'll be unhappy.

I'll live for the moment and be glad that in what time I had, I accomplished things I'm proud of. No matter how small they are.

Am I crazy or what?
xoxo
-G.

Analyzing.

Obviously it's a habit. Darn my over-active brain.

There are times when I just Go... do, and there are times where I stand there for 10 minutes staring blankly into space trying to figure out whether or not I should do it or not.

Overdoing it, aren't I?

When do I let instinct kick in and kick out brain?

Err, That would probably lead to a sprained ankle, I mean, knowing me, it probably would.

As is on Buzznet, "Confussion at its Best"

No mystery in that title whatsoever.
The world has a way of making me ask questions. I find myself locked up in my room for hours on end thinking about things that I wanna know the answers to. I don't like being confused and I don't like questioning things. I don't like being questioned either; that's almost as bad.
One minute, you think things are going great and the next.. POW! Everything's just a huge pile of unanswered questions (mostly 'Whys' and 'WTHs')
I still haven't found the answer to my biggest question "Why is Human Nature... Human Nature?" I find it intriguing and irritating the way I don't know what will happen, in say, a few days from now. I don't know how things will turn out a year from now. I don't know why people are the way they are. I don't know why I'm the way I am.

If I go on, I'll probably end up dizzy at some point.

The point is, I just don't understand things. It makes me feel like a 5 year-old. It makes me feel frustrated and angry.

I'm here, ranting on about how I feel when I can't even explain the way I feel.
Frustrated, Angry, Confused, Irritated, Sad, On the verge of shouting into my pillow; Barely explains it.

And then there's another question lingering in my thoughts: Why does everyone wanna change me?
I still haven't found someone who'll accept me or well, ME.
Someone who wouldn't give a damn if I can barely talk Tagalog.
Someone who won't give a crap if I speak English like I just got of a plane from America.
Someone who'll sit with me through the entirety of Nick and Norah's infinite playlist and 10 things I hate about you and go "Wow, wanna watch that again?" without questioning why I'm into stuff like that.
Someone who'll go to a concert with me and won't just stand there like an idiot staring at me like I'm weird because I'm head-banging and whatnot.
Someone who won't stare at me weird when I tell them I enjoy drinking Gatorade and coke mixed together.
Someone who won't say I'm anorexic because I like eating salads and burgers aren't my cup of tea.
Someone who knows what a bowl of chocolate-chip mint ice cream can do to make me smile.

But then again, that's probably too much to ask.
From my own family, it's practically impossible to achieve that acceptance... what more with someone else?
-G.

New Music Tuesday.

Open Happiness by Brendon Urie, Patrick Stump, Travis McCoy, Janelle Monae and CeeLo:

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Open Happiness [Original Happiness] [featuring Cee-lo Green, Brendon Urie [Panic At the Disco], Patrick Stump [Fall Out Boy], Janelle Monae, Travis McCoy [Gym Class Heroes] [Produced by Butch Walker Mix] - Various / Coke

(I couldn't find a full version of this)

I call it the "Happy Song". I think it's pretty rad that 5 artists all in different genres can work on a song and make it sound like their voices were made to compliment each other. Although it doesn't have great lyrics, It's still a very good song and it makes you smile. That IS the purpose and all.
This song is for the "Open Happiness. Open Coke" Campaign and they'll be releasing the video soon (which I'm looking forward to!).

The Philippines has released their own version of this song as well with the same title performed by Sandwich. I'm not a fan of it because it sounds more like a commercial than a song but I'm going to post it as well just so the Filipinos can take a listen (if they haven't already).

Open Happiness by Sandwich:

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Open Happiness - Sandwich

At 11:49pm.

I started off writing about my usual QOTD but deleted it after half a page of blabbing about another unimportant matter.

So, here I am with nothing really special to say.

Though tonight, inspiration has struck me through a story.

My mom comes home every Monday at around 10pm with a bit of "kwento" about her day and some cool emails she received. After making me read aloud some jokes to my grandma, she told me to read an email from one of my her friends containing something special.

The only time I remember meeting Fr. Reuter was when he baptized me and I can only remember that through stories and pictures. He is the priest my mom would tell me stories about when she'd talk about her school days. And he was the priest my grandma would talk about when she'd tell me about being a "Reuter baby".
A few months back, my mom told me about his colum for the Philippine Star entitled "At 3:00a.m.". This was when I was having trouble remembering details about a recent activity I had been a part of and was asked to write about. She told me how he wrote at 3am because his mind was clearer and his thoughts were more organinzed. I never really forgot about that because I realized that at 12am, that was when my mind was clearer and more organized and it was the best time for me to write. Sadly, I never got a chance to check the paper to read his column and I will never get that chance because today he wrote his last article.

I wanted to share this with you guys because, even if I didn't know him personally, I've heared stories about him from both my grandma and mom and feel that I somehow know him as well.
For those who aren't Catholic, just read on. It's a very nice article. And the prayer at the bottom is one that will warm your hearts.

FR REUTER'S LAST ARTICLE

Fr. Reuter has written his last column on "The Philippine Star" newspaper today. For those who have not seen it - read on . He has written such a beautiful prayer in the end. He is waiting to be called, please pray for him.

HOPING WE WILL BE ONE, FOREVER

I am in Our lady of Peace Hospital , on the Coastal Road , and it is really 3:00 A.M . The planes coming and going from the airport are roaring over my head.
Everything is peaceful and quiet. Even the roaring planes add to the feeling of peace and quiet.
I am ten days away from my 93rd birthday. God has been kinder to me than I deserve, giving me such a rich life, in such a beautiful country, among such gentle people. He has blessed me with so many kind, affectionate, generous
loving friends.
I found that the best time for me to write was 3:00 A.M. My mind is clearer, my heart is warmer, and I am overwhelmed with the goodness of the people God sends to me.
In this column I have always tried to be positive - presenting the goodness of people, and the wisdom of God's Providence as I saw it.
I have tried to give .... to give the only thing I have to give ... Myself.

I have tried to share my thoughts, my feelings, the wonderful holiness that I see in the simple, gentle people that God sends to me.
As soon as I came to the Philippines I realized that the Filipinos were the loveliest people in the world. It was a gift of God, a special blessing, that He sent me here.
I have been thanked for giving my life to the Philippines .... But whenever you give, you always get back more than you have given.
Thank you .
* for your gift of friendship through these many long years

* for reading "At 3:00 A.M.." from the time I started writing my column
* for your reactions through letters and phone calls when you liked or did not like what I wrote
* for sharing your stories which inspired me to write them so they could inspire others
* for your love and concern
*for your prayers which comfort me and which I need.
I have tried to be a priest. A priest is a bridge ...a bridge between God and man .... a channel of God's love, peace and joy.
What I have found in the Philippines is union ....union of hearts and minds
... It is marked by sharing .... The simple, gentle Filipino is willing to share all he has, with everyone.
That is holiness ... That is sanctity ... That is being like God.
In heaven we will all be one - united in heart and soul .... Loving each other.
In this column written at 3:00 A.M. that was my only message ...give...give yourself.... love.
And when I presented this, I discovered what it meant, myself.
Being strong, sometimes, means being able to let go. I know that now is the time to “let go". I have been up at 3:00 A.M. to write my column for many, many years. It is now time for me to stay in bed until the sun comes up
and the birds start to sing.
This is not goodbye. Wherever I am, whatever I do, you are always in my heart and in my prayers. All of you.
God bless!
The song is ended ... but the melody lingers on... and on ... and on I love those who have read this column...And I hope that they love me.
* * *
For those who are interested, here is my prayer that I would like to share with you.

Lord God,
Look down upon us, this day, this hour.
Regardless of what has gone before,
or what will come after,
give us the grace to consecrate this time entirely to You -
all the actions of our body and soul.
May all the thoughts that come to us be true
May all the things to which our hearts go out
be beautiful, with the beauty of God.
May all the things we want be good.
Give us the light to see Your Will,
the grace to love it
and the courage and strength to do it.
We ask you this through Christ Our Lord.
Amen.

So there you have it.
I hope I'm not being to sentimental.
Wishing you all the best,
G.

Question of the day.

Why are we all so engrossed in the lives of other people?

Celebrities are the number one example for this one.

Seriously, why should we care about how much someone's hairstyle cost? What's so important about what *insert celebrity here* did yesterday at 3 o'clock at a botique in LA?

Why is all this so important to us?
Sure, they're idols, I get it. But, hasn't it gone too far over the passed years?
If you go into your local newstands and check the magazine section, you'll find something like 10 different magazines (local and foreign) talking about celebrities and who's got the next baby bump.
I admit, I'm someone who has spent countless hours watching these shows as they talk about the latest celebrity gossip, but the big question is, Why do we do this?

Why is it that it's so important to us who they're dating or what they're wearing?
So much so that we copy them and when we fail, it hurts us.

After checking out an issue of *insert magazine title here*, I stared at the pages and wondered why these even existed then eventually came to a conclusion: Celebrity gossip magazines wouldn't exist if there weren't people looking for them. Papparazzis wouldn't exist if people didn't wanna see pictures of celebrities walking their dogs or cleaning the cars or *Gasp* picking up their laundry!

Twitter wouldn't be so popular if everyone didn't care about what celebrities had to say.
"I am going to watch the Lakers later." "Imma head off to bed now"
Wow.
So that gives us an insight into their lives. Now that's pretty rad, right?
And sure, I follow a handful of my favorite musicians too but I'm not in it for the kill.
In fact, I could care less if I saw them tweet about going to a party or something.
If we @reply someone and they don't reply, were angry at the person for not replying but when they do reply, we feel special and expect that person to treat us like a friend, a buddy-buddy. Weird, right?

Someone has to explain to me how the world works because, truthfully, it's come to a point where, I don't understand it anymore...

And don't get me started on those reality shows about love. Do people really expect to find love on television?!

That's for a different day though.

Someone, enlighten me.
-G.