Last night my mom started talking to me about European Studies. She doesn't think it's practical at all and she doesn't think it'll fit my personality. After my conversation with her last night I started to doubt a lot of things. As much as I tried to prove to myself that I was making the right decision, there was this nagging voice in my head yelling "What if?". Before I went to sleep I started thinking what if I failed? What if I made the wrong decisions? What if I chose the wrong course?

This morning during breakfast my mom did the same thing. She started asking me those questions. She tried handing me some answers but it made it even harder for me. After breakfast I sat in my room and stared at my review books and started doubting everything. I started doubting my capability, I started thinking about what i'd lose if I didn't pass. It felt like my room was caving in and all I could do was sit there and think.

As the school year opens, the fear is slowly taking me in. I'm starting to realize all these things that I've been keeping locked away somewhere. All these questions and thoughts...

I've gotta admit it to myself. I'm scared. I'm very scared. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of disappointing people. I'm afraid of disappointing myself.